With seven months left until what our friend Shannon is calling “the wedding of the year” I thought it would be appropriate to give everyone an update of where our wedding plans are at:
Dress: Yep!
Suit: Tick that off.
Reception Centre: Booked!
Nagging: Will it ever end?
Arguments: Here, there and everywhere.
Stress: Most definitely!
Priest: Nope…not yet
Invitations: Facebook anyone?
Colour scheme: Is rainbow a colour?
Seating plan: What seating plan? Marina and I were thinking of having a massive game of musical chairs, that way everyone has a sporting chance.
Seat covers: We’ll see…
Cow: Why not?
Elephant: What is this? A wedding or a Bollywood movie?
Curry: …in a hurry.
A date that has my bride-to-be and her bridesmaids focussed on pussies: Double checked, ticked and underlined.
Let me see, what else is there? Oh yes…
Apartment: What’s wrong a with a friend’s couch?
Hen’s Party: From what I hear, a fireman will be involved!
Buck’s Party: A quiet night in, drinking tea, chatting about politics and indulging in a rowdy game of scrabble.
A cravat with a black button: You’d better believe it!
Bridal waltz: Does the chicken dance count? How about the Macarena?
Cooking classes for Marina: The number 1 priority!
Several slaps upside my head by Marina for the previous comment: Dealt out with glee!
Elope: Definitely an option still under consideration.
Yes, I could go on, but apart from trying to avoid further acts of unspeakable violence unleashed in my direction, I have realised that when planning a wedding, the “to do” list is never ending and is always a work in progress.
All this hassle, according to our family and friends, “is definitely worth it” because “this is our big year.” I have to admit this concerns me somewhat. If everyone is correct, then it means it doesn’t get much better than this and after August 15th it is all down hill. Making matters worse is the fact that I am over thirty and getting hitched, which means my hill is probably steeper than most. Nevertheless, the ride is going to be an enjoyable and a memorable one and Marina and I hope you all get on board.
And why wouldn’t you want too? Just have a look at what we have in store for you…
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How do you make a marriage stand the test of time? What are the secrets of a long marriage? Is it money? Diamonds? Toy boys? Maybe a pony?
Darren endeavours to find the answers to these questions in his next blog. A piece of prose that is so shocking, horrific and mind blowing that we cannot even reveal its title for fear it might drive you all to madness.
(What Darren means by the previous paragraph is that he has not even thought of a title yet and does not know any other way to get you to come back for more. He’d offer you a money back guarantee but then he would go broke.)
Darren’s adventures in the blogosphere continue when he and his intrepid band of merry men, eager to expand their horizons, set off on a journey that will change their lives forever. Their quest takes them deep into a land filled with lace, buttons, art card and the most dastardly substance known to man: Kraft Glue. Not even this gruesome discovery can prepare them for their biggest challenge – coming face to face with a Couture Cutie and her crafty henchwomen.
What will become of our heroes? Will they become unstuck and end their days being forced to praise pussies or will they find a way to escape the clutches of these diamante mistresses and again be able to burp and fart in peace?
The answers to these and the other many pointless questions posted in this blog are coming your way…so stay tuned!
*********************COMING SOON************************
