Most people call it Writer’s block.
I call it being left speechless by the birth of our beautiful daughter.
When faced with writing a blog to announce the birth of Marissa to the masses, I could not help but stare at the screen, unable to craft cohesive prose about our family’s third addition. Don’t get me wrong, the birth of my daughter stirred in me countless ideas and emotions, I just could not pin any down in a fashion that made any sense.
Thankfully, Marina, a writer and blogger in her own right came to my literary rescue and provided me a list of paragraphs and ideas for me to weave into my blog’s next entry.
Unlike Dominic’s and Matthews’s announcement blogs, which were gushy yet reflective; Marina’s story telling masterfully highlighted the serendipitous journey we had taken from newlyweds to being the proud parents of three beautiful kids.
Let me explain, by taking you way back to the year 2010.
Dominic was scheduled to be born on the 16th January, 2011, but he blessed us with an early arrival three days before Christmas on the 28th December. Uncannily, yet aptly, considering the time of the year he was born, Marina and I had chosen “Emmanuel” for Dominic’s middle name, because we loved its meaning – “God is with us.”
A week after he was born, we attended mass for the first time as a family. It so happened that that Sunday was The Feast of The Holy Family. Marina and I were immediately touched that our first mass as a family took place on such an auspicious Feast Day in church’s calendar and decided to dedicate our children to the members of the Holy family.
Keeping that promise was paramount, so when Matthew was born two years later the choice of his middle name was an easy, if not a forgone, one – Joseph.
Like Dominic, who came near Christmas and provided me with the best Christmas present I could ever ask for, Matthew was not be outdone, and decided to pop out early. In his case, Easter was his season of choice. Matthew was scheduled to arrive on the 6th May, but he graced us with his presence on the 18th April; a couple of days shy of Easter and my birthday. Like Chocolate, he is sweet, and as we have found out, just as messy.
Marissa decided to continue the tradition her brothers had set and was born on the 12th of September even though she was timetabled to pop along on the 26th September. Her arrival was the perfect, albeit, late Father’s day present if there ever was one. Not that I will raise this issue with her, because I am well aware that it is a girls prerogative to arrive fashionable late. Nevertheless, her presence, certainly beats after shave and like the boys, she will certainly be the gift that keeps on giving, and I am not talking about soiled nappies either.
Naturally, in naming our daughter we had a promise to keep.
This was easier said than done.
In addition to using the Holy Family as a source of inspiration for our names, Marina and I, being the sentimental souls that we are, also wanted names that had links to our family, so the family names of the last generation could live on into the next.
The name ‘Dominic’ was chosen, not simply because it started with the same letter as my first name, but is was also Marina’s Godfather’s name, whereas Emmanuel was a throwback to my Grandfather’s middle name.
Matthew of course, shares the same first letter as Marina, while the choice of ‘Joseph’ was twofold; it is a homage to Marina’s Dad’s middle name and her grandfather’s name.
When it came to selecting our daughter’s name, the challenge we faced with our nomenclature rules were quickly apparent – We needed a Marian name in the middle which had a link to our family.
But like most rules, there are always exceptions.
(Now I could go into a spiel about there being one set of rules for boys and another set for girls, but that would just get me into trouble. Besides, I am sure I there will be a blog about all of that…so watch this space for the upcoming “Dilemma of Venus”.)
The name ‘Marissa’ had been with us from the onset. It was name that we would have used, if our first born has been a girl. This was obviously not the case and the name was shelved, until the second pregnancy. With the arrival of Matthew, the name was put on the back burner once again.
During this third pregnancy, “Marissa’ was brought out, dusted off and bandied around in various name combinations. Though this time, a strange thing happened. For the last two pregnancies, we were happy to leave ‘Marissa” as middle name, but for this one, no matter what combination we tried “Marissa” always snuck up to the top spot.
Rather than fight what was obviously a losing battle, “Marissa” became the name of choice. Considering its beautiful meaning – ‘Star of the Sea’ which is derived from the Latin Stell Maris – it is not hard to see why we were drawn to it.
Cementing our decision was the fact that ‘Marissa’ was not only Marian derived but also an amalgamation of my wife’s name: MARIna VaneSSA.
Encompassing the perfect role models for our daughter to aspire too – Mary, our blessed Mother and my beautiful wife – the name “Marissa” really was a two-for-one Special.
Nevertheless, we still had a middle name to choose.
Elizabeth. It was name that appealed to us for its lyrical lilt, its elegance when it was transcribed using calligraphy and there was a definite regal quality to it. More importantly than these was the significance it had in our past.
Like the boy’s names, the name ‘Elizabeth’ is derived from a Saint Elizabeth, Mary’s cousin. During Mary’s fateful visitation of Elizabeth, Mary sang a famous canticle to her cousin, the Magnificat – A beautiful prayer showcasing Mary’s joy, devotion and gratitude to God.
Marina was teaching at Mar ist College shortly after we met and during the school mass for The Feast Of The Assumption, the Magnificat was read out as part of the readings. This prayer was also part of our wedding mass, which was also held on The Feast of The Assumption. Naturally all things happen in threes, and because God’s ways are certainly mysterious, if not serendipitous, this prayer will be the focus of the liturgical readings on the Sunday when our daughter will be baptised.
Underscoring our decision for the middle name is the fact that the name of ‘Elizabeth’ means “God’s Oath.” Choosing this name meant that the Oath we made at St Joseph’s Parish Church on the feast of Holy Family those many years ago when Dominic was born was fulfilled with the birth of our daughter, Marissa Elizabeth Assey.
For that, Marina and I have been truly blessed with three kids and whereas some may say “Three’s a Crowd”, I am sure for us, in the many hours, days, weeks, months and years come, we will be saying “Three’s a Party!”
My soul magnifies the Lord
And my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour;
Because He has regarded the lowliness of His handmaid;
For behold, henceforth all generations shall call me blessed;
Because He who is mighty has done great things for me,
and holy is His name;
And His mercy is from generation to generation
on those who fear Him.
He has shown might with His arm,
He has scattered the proud in the conceit of their heart.
He has put down the mighty from their thrones,
and has exalted the lowly.
He has filled the hungrywith good things,
and the rich He has sent away empty.
He has given help to Israel, his servant, mindful of His mercy
Even as he spoke to our fathers, to Abraham and to his posterity forever.
– The Magnificat
Fortress of Fatherhood 
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